Family Crisis & Stressors

Trials in life are not like us trying to ride a skateboard and someone keeps throwing rocks at us. We aren't set-up to fail here. We simply need to understand how we define a problem. Do we know how to use resources available very well? President Uchtdorf shared the space story about the bones and muscles of the astronauts getting weak due to the lack of stress from gravity placed upon them. As we go through life as a adolescent into adulthood our brains matures. I explained this to my teenage daughter to try to help her realize the need for help from mom was okay. She replied she didn't think they should let teenagers drive!  

              The Call and the Challenge 

• We truly need to give others the benefit of the doubt
• Assume the Best w/i an experience
• Be Patient, Kind & Gentle 
• Be Curious -  Not Furious! 
• Get Rid of Sarcasm - It is not a congruent message

We are sending words in one directions  ---> And the meaning is the other direction <---

Family Stress and Coping 

             A ctual Event - 

             B ehavorial Responses - How well we                       use our resources

             C ogntions- How a Family defines Crisis 

  Total e X perience 

We learned the ABC X model of crisis. We were asked to write down several personal life experiences or events where we may have seen coping taking place or had to use it. How do we deal with stress, how do we handle situations? 

Brother Williams shared a very precious family experience of his own where his parents actually lost their first child just shortly after he was born. What a heart wrenching time for young parents to deal with a newborns death. They both dealt with it differently and separately. Thus creating a huge wedge between them. Years later they had another son pass away. How tragic for a family. However this time the family pulled together not apart. They met in a family council together. Just the family and nobody else. They discussed they planned they submitted their will to the Lord and grew together as husband and wife and children. Such a precious example of An Actually Event and Responding in such a way the behavioral of at the utmost of wellness. And they didn't let this event define them or beat them.   

Family Crisis

NO not mine, just the topic this week. 

We discussed how after world war two there was a huge in-flex of crisis as dad came back from being gone so long and mom handling all the house, children and the in many cases even gone back to work. This made for a difficult transition. In several instances mom even stayed working. With secretary and receptionist position readily available many woman stay on working, which brought a whole new load of difficultly we often refer to as chaos. 

A story shared was one of a a young couple and their experience when they were first married having their first baby die shorty after he was born. It became a fairly large crisis in there family. Especially due to the fact that the couple didn't speak to each other about any of the situation. By the grace of God they made it and went on to have 4 other children including a set of twins. When they were 7 years old one of the twins contracted Rye disease and died also. This time the family pulled together and with great care and concerned for others they worked it out. It is amazing the strength and faith some poses. Communication and Understanding each other's point of view and their needs is key to getting through any crisis. UNDERSTANDING of another's perspective is the key to any relationship.

M. Scott Peck said, "One result of the mysterious nature of love is that no one has ever, to my knowledge, arrived at a truly satisfactory definition of love. In an effort to explain it, therefore, love has been divided into various categories: eros, philia, agape; perfect love and imperfect love, and so on. I am presuming, however, to give a single definition of love, again with the awareness that it is likely to be in some way or ways inadequate. I define love thus: The will to extend one’s self for the purpose of nurturing one’s own or another's spiritual growth." (The Road Less Traveled, 1978, p. 81)

As we discussed this in class we learned - Philia is brotherly love, Eros is is passionate love feelings & attraction, and Agape is Godlike love compassion, independent, even for those you don't even know. 
I Love learning about these for spouse we should have all. And knowing how wonderful it is to have children it helps me describe and identify the pure love I have for them.